


What to Expect When You're Expecting During the Zombie Apocalypse

by 1lostone



Series: Lost's Rickyl Bingo Prompt Fills! [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blame Jlm for the title., Don't expect actual science, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, I take no responsibility for this., M/M, Mpreg, RWG Bingo card challenge, RickylWritersGroup, This fic is one hundred percent assbabies free, Yes you read that right- I can't believe it either, i blame jlm for everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 16:24:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5934991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1lostone/pseuds/1lostone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>... I'm pretty sure the tags and the title say it all but just in case.</p><p>Daryl is pregnant.  Rick reacts badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What to Expect When You're Expecting During the Zombie Apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jlm121](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlm121/gifts).



  
  


* * *

 

Rick knew he was dreaming. He  _ had _ to be. 

 

Daryl’s mouth moved, the words sounding like they were far off, and muffled. Rick felt like he was opening his eyes underwater, that reality had fractured to some strange pseudo-reality.

 

Believing that Shane would kill Otis, and try to kill him.... Shane- his best fucking  _ friend _ ... that had been strange. 

 

Believing that he could see Lori in that white gown, hear her voice and the voices of all the people that he’d lost because he hadn’t been smart enough or quick enough.... that had been more strange, once he realized that no. What he was imagining wasn’t happening; that his mind was taking a hiatus from the constant shit they dealt with on a day to day basis.

 

Believing that the fucking  _ dead _ would rise, like a horror movie that never, ever, ended.... that was just fucking weird. 

 

But this? 

 

Rick blinked, feeling like Daryl had clocked him one. In the balls. With a bat. Rick shook his head once, not in denial (this was much too insane for denial) but to get normal sound to work correctly, to get time to stop starting and stopping in bursts.

 

Something in Daryl’s face shut down. His eyebrows lowered, eyes squinting more than usual. His lips tightened into two pale lines. The shoulders that had been so rigid with tension sagged for a heartbeat before snapping to attention again. Rick watched as Daryl’s left shoulder twitched in a shrug, before he turned and walked out of the cell, bootheels clicking on the concrete. The door to the cell closed with a rusty-sounding crash; sound rushing in to fill a vacuum. 

 

Rick could still hear the shouted words echoing around the walls of the prison cell.

 

“No, you stupid fucking bastard. I’m  _ pregnant _ .” 

 

***

Denial, it turned out. was not just a river in Egypt.  After Rick’s gauche reaction, something that was already strained between them broke.  It didn’t take much for Rick to realize that he’d fucked up, to figure out that what he’d done, and what Daryl thought that meant were two seperate different things. 

 

Admittedly, Rick could have handled that better.  Hershel seemed to think so if the sad, slightly judgemental stare was any indication. Carol looked at him like she was thinking of filleting his balls from his nutsack. Slowly. Rick didn’t think anyone else knew. At least, no one was treating him any differently. 

 

The trouble was; Rick couldn’t get close enough to Daryl to apologize. Or grovel. Or just.... talk to him. It made him feel guilty for awhile, then it made him feel frustrated, and now... it kind of made him mad.  

 

The prison really wasn’t all that big.  It was a neat damn trick to avoid someone for this long. 

 

Finally, Rick had enough. 

 

Oh, he tried to get Daryl alone once more before he left. It hadn’t gone quite as planned. In fact, in the history of things that had never been planned and had resulted in a clusterfuck of epic proportions due to said non-planning, that conversation was probably at the top.  The resulting fight had made Rick feel even more like a dick, because when he’d seen that even his mere  _ presence  _ was fucking up Daryl’s calm, all Rick could think of was ‘you-gotta-calm-down-you’re-pregnant’, like Daryl didn’t  _ know _ . 

 

Upon later reflection, actually  _ saying _ that was probably the beginning of the end.  

 

**

Rick left under the cover of darkness, like a thief.  He knew that the shit would hit the fan when they found his note, but he  _ had  _  gotten Glenn to promise to look after Carl and Judith for a few days, so it wasn’t like he was just abandoning everyone.  

 

Rick took a car, but no supplies other than his gun and some ammo, figuring that this was something best done alone. Rick had plenty of time to plan out his run. He’d go further west, towards the city. Hershel had once mentioned a veterinary college near there, and the town was big enough to have three Ob Gyn offices; Rick had made a special point to check in the Warden’s office’s phonebook. He’d be quick; going in and cleaning out daycares too. Judith would need clothes too soon, and Rick could just pick up whatever the fuck he could grab, stuff it in the car, and be back by sunset. 

 

... of course it didn’t quite go that way. 

 

Oh, the first part was fine. He made it there with no problem.  He’d found a heartbeat monitor- he’d remembered what it had looked like with Carl-, and a blood pressure cuff that Hershel had been hemming and hawwing about wanting for forever. Ditto a stethoscope. He’d found some gauze, and had cleaned out the doctor’s office of those tongue depressor things- because you just never fucking knew- then had scored big time with a supply cabinet full of the samples of formula.  There were four different kinds, and easily fifty cans. Rick had grinned like an idiot, because here was the solution for both Judith and.... and whatever their baby would be named. A walker had stumbled in and Rick had decided to drive to the next one.

 

He’d found the baby superstore before he’d found the other doctor’s office, and he’d almost sprinted inside.  Oh there had been a lot more walkers there, thanks to a jeep that had crashed through the back of the store, but there were clothes and diapers, and more formula and toys.... 

 

Rick had filled the little hatchback up to the brim.  His two best finds,  _ What to Expect When You’re Expecting _ and  _ Midwifery and Home Births for Dummies _ had made Rick’s day. Night had fallen by then, and he’d made the decision to pull the car into an alley and hide it as best he could in the darkness, being sure to make it look part of the wreck with the jeep and stringing walker bits all over it for camouflage... which, as it turned out had been a pretty good idea. 

 

Some inner instinct of paranoia had Rick camping in the cleared doctor’s office.  He’d woken up at the other end of a gun, with a bunch of dumbasses who thought that they could capture him and convince him to stay with them, but Rick could bide his time with the best of them.  He made it out with seven dead dumbasses, a broken arm, a broken collarbone and a concussion, but it took him almost a month to do it. 

 

It had taken several more days to backtrack to the town, pick up his car and make his way back to the prison.  Also there was the part where the concussion had been a bit worse than he’d let himself deal with in his push to get back to his family, so when he  _ did  _  arrive, and had fallen out of the car, staggering to his knees, when he saw that Daryl and Carl were running towards him, well... right before he passed out, Rick figured that his return was a bit more dramatic than he’d anticipated. 

 

***

 

Rick opened his eyes to a grim-looking Hershel staring down at him. 

 

“You’re not gonna like this much at all, Rick.” He said calmly, then nodded.  Rick became aware that someone was holding his head and someone else was doing something  _ incredibly _ unpleasant to his arm and shoulder. When Hershel grabbed his arm, he  _ yanked _ and the broken bones twisted together. 

 

Rick screamed. 

 

There was an audible  _ snap _ , and Rick felt the arm go back into his socket, where it was supposed to be.  

 

“Looks like a pretty nasty dislocation, Rick. We’re gonna set the arm next. Just hang in there.” 

 

Rick only realized that it was Daryl holding his face, running his hands through his hair when he heard his low, whisper of, “Hang in there, man. He’s almost done.” Rick knew his eyes were leaking tears, but didn’t think anyone here would call him on it. He held out his good hand. RIck’s throat tightened when Daryl’s fingers threaded with his. 

 

“Daryl... I’m. I’m  _ so _ sor--” Rick’s voice cracked. 

 

He didn’t imagine the slight ghosting of lips on his forehead, and even with the dull throbbing of his broken arm and shoulder, Rick felt like he’d been given something precious. 

 

Hershel began wrapping cleaning his arm with water, and disinfecting its surface. “It’s a damn miracle that the broken bone hasn’t punctured the skin.” He worked quickly and efficiently, as always. “I’m going a by a bit of guesswork, here. The wound on your head looks about two days old. The swelling of your arm wasn’t much, but it was enough that it made me wait a bit to see if it went down before I put on a plaster cast.” Hershel carefully worked two knee socks over his hand, wrist, and arm, stretching them out so that the elastic was up by his elbow. 

 

“What about.... about...”

 

“Your baby?” 

 

Rick noticed that Daryl still hadn’t spoken, although he hadn’t walked off again. His skin began to crawl with the need to explain, to ask questions, to do  _ something _ but knew that he needed to wait. Hershel had the look about him like he was getting ready to say something, and Rick knew he’d probably need to hear it.  The old man dumped some water into a mix and the dusty scent of plaster floated up to tease Rick’s nostrils. Hershel began dunking strips of an ace bandage in the plaster mix and wrapping Rick’s arm, careful not to make it too tight. 

 

“From what we can tell, it’s happening because of the walkers.” 

 

RIck jolted, terrified. 

 

“Shit! No. No, not like that. Daryl’s  _ fine _ , Rick. At least in the sense that all of us are fine.” Hershel grabbed Rick’s chin and stared at him until he calmed down. Whether it had been deliberate or not, it was enough to send Rick’s brain into overdrive, imagining Daryl dying or the baby.... no. It was fine. It was gonna be fine. Hershel said so.

 

“While out looking for you, Glenn and Maggie  met some folks while you were gone, had a man with them who was seven months pregnant. They were from Woodbury, and had been out on a patrol.” Hershel held his hands up, placatingly.  “Now, don’t ask me what a man that pregnant was doin’ on a patrol, but he was, and according to Glenn, they spoke awhile.  Said that they had a doctor back at their town.  Thought male pregnancy was just another evolutionary tactic; that humanity was just too damn stubborn to give up, walkers or not.” 

 

“But... but how...”

 

Hershel ignored Rick’s admittedly feeble question and began wrapping Rick’s broken arm again.  “There’s no other feminine parts, other than the uterus. They don’t nurse their children, and it looks like they’re removed with a cesarean section, since the men don’t develop a cervix, a birth canal, or a vagina.”

 

Rick was feeling a little floaty, but Hershel’s steady voice and Daryl’s tightening fingers kept him from going anywhere. 

 

“But... how does... how does he...?”

 

“Get pregnant?” Hershel moved back so he could look Rick in the face. His cheeks were faintly pink, but his voice was steady when he spoke, “Well, Rick.  When a man and another man love each other very much....” Hershel wasn’t able to keep a straight face and his lips twitched.  

 

Rick only became aware that Daryl was shaking behind him when the other man started snorting and hooting in laughter.

 

“Fuckin’ christ, man, your  _ face _ .” 

 

Rick wanted to be offended, but it felt too good to see Daryl laughing. Eventually, he joined in their mingled laughter. It took awhile for them to stop, and by then the plaster had set, so Hershel cut off the parts of the socks so that his fingers were free. 

 

“Sorry- just... sorry. Rick, we don’t exactly know for sure, but we think it depends on which man was....” Hershel broke off, with cherry-red cheeks. 

 

Rick raised an eyebrow and turned to stare at Daryl. This was the first time that he’d seen him fully.  Daryl had to have been a lot further along than they’d thought, if by the way his belly was pooching out was any indication. Daryl’s face was soft from the recent laughter, and Rick just wanted to kiss him so badly.... 

 

But he couldn’t. Not yet. They still had a good bit of stuff to work out, and after that if Daryl still wanted to kiss him, then he was all for it.  He blinked, and Daryl nodded. 

 

“Yeah. If one of the times we’d switched had took, it’d be you doin’ this and not me.” 

 

Hershel cleared his throat.  _ Loudly _ . 

 

“Well, Rick. We’re about done here. Glenn and Michonne have unpacked your car, and I’m sure that Beth and Carol are just about at their wit’s end, trying to keep the two younger Grimes occupied. Plus, I think that dinner is ready.” Hershel smiled, and cleaned up his supplies, grabbed his crutches and made his way out of the cell with a farewell nod. 

 

The two of them were silent for a few minutes. Rick sat up and turned to look at Daryl, who sat in the chair near their bed, looking down at their joined hands. 

 

“You have to know that I would never,  _ ever _ leave you on purpose. Not for anything.” 

 

Daryl swallowed so hard his Adam’s apple bobbed. 

 

Rick continued, his voice soft. “And I know what it looked like when you told me, like I was rejecting you, or, or the baby.” Feeling greatly daring, Rick reached out and ghosted his fingers over Daryl’s belly.  “I was ... shocked. But that’s no excuse, and I should have handled it---”

 

“Stop.”  Daryl took a deep breath, and jerked Rick off balance, so he fell against Daryl’s body. “It’s fine. I know. Don’t gotta...” He trailed off, but he looked lighter, and Rick figured that he  _ did _ ‘gotta’, just a bit. 

 

“I killed seven people while I was gone. They jumped me. Tried to get me to join their group- bunch of assholes. Had some stupid rules about claiming shit that they wanted.”  Rick didn’t think that he’d ever talk about how he’d taken out the leader. At least not now. Now was for them, a little slice of normalcy in the place they’d made into their home. 

 

****

 

Dinner had been loud, and full of an understated joy.  They’d all thought he’d been killed, so him coming back was more than a miracle, but him coming back relatively unscathed was a cause for celebration.  Rick found that Carl had pretty much grafted himself to Rick’s side, and even Judith seemed to coo and gurgle with a little more happiness.  In his absence, they had began trading with the people of Woodbury, and a tentative meeting had been set up between Rick and their Governor, Phillip.  Rick didn’t know quite how that was going to go, but he was happy and full, and surrounded by enough family that he was willing to give it a try. Daryl was a steady presence at his other side, and Rick was pleased to see that the slightly stilted   _ offness _ that had been between them since Lori’s death had healed. Carl was comfortable with Daryl in a way that Rick didn’t think would ever happen, and Daryl was... almost mellow, in comparison to what he remembered. 

 

Maybe that was just the pregnancy hormones.  Shit. Rick didn’t know. He  _ did _ know enough not to say that though. 

 

“Rick?”

 

Turns out that Rick had looted more of the formula and baby items than Judith and .... her brother or sister could ever use.  Maggie was pleased that it gave them something to trade. Glenn was pleased that Maggie was pleased, and really, the amount of cheer in their main room was positively disgusting. 

 

“Rick?” 

 

Daryl looked at him and leaned forward. His belly pressed between them as Daryl’s hand tangled in the curls at the back of Rick’s neck, pulling their heads together. Daryl’s kiss was flavored slightly with the chocolate they’d eaten, and Rick relaxed into the kiss, feeling like there was more than a chance that things would be okay....

 

_ “Rick?” _

 

***

 

Rick could still taste chocolate as he opened his eyes. Daryl frowned down at him for a second as Rick struggled to blink himself back to actual consciousness, pulling back the hand that had shook his shoulder.  

 

“Sorry to wake you, man,  but you’re up for watch.” 

 

_ Riiiight _ . Rick blinked again, several times in a row.  He couldn’t help the quick glance he stole up and down Daryl’s body, and wasn’t surprised to see that Daryl was not pregnant. Obviously. Rick sat up and stumbled to the water they’d collected, splashing his face so that he was all the way awake.  

 

“You okay?”

 

Rick took a deep breath, pushing down the idea of kissing Daryl, of Daryl being his like he always did while he went around the business of being leader.  The idea of Daryl having a baby was.... okay. Rick didn’t know what that was. It had almost made a weird sort of sense in his head. Rick didn’t think that the glances and lingering touches that Michonne teased him about meant what she thought he meant.  _ He _ ’d never caught Daryl doing it anyway. 

 

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just had a ... weird ass dream. Not a bad one... just...” Rick shrugged. 

 

“I know what ya mean. I had one not too long ago where that big ass purple dinosaur was chasing me. Creepy as fuck, man.” 

 

Rick’s eyebrows rose. “You mean... Barney?” 

 

Daryl’s lips twitched in his version of a smile. “You know any other purple creepy-ass dinosaurs?”  He cocked his head to make sure that Rick was awake enough to protect them.  Rick nodded, and Daryl wasted no time curling up in Rick’s blankets, wiggling a little to make himself comfortable. 

 

Rick tried not to feel possessive and pleased, and failed miserably. 

 

But... who knew. Maybe one day Rick would get the guts to do something about what he felt. Maybe he’d do something dramatic, like swing Daryl into a passionate kiss, or join him in his blankets one cold night when neither of them were on watch. 

 

Maybe.  After all, it was a long journey to DC.

**Author's Note:**

> posted unbeta'd because I'm impatient. :D 
> 
>  
> 
> ... tee hee!
> 
>  
> 
> (PS if you'd like to play along, [ send me an ask ](http://1lostone.tumblr.com/) or go to the [ RWG's challenge page ](http://rickylwritersgroup.tumblr.com/challenges) on tumblr!)


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